8 months today... he asked me out...and now i'm the happiest person on earth :)

I Graduated from High School! wow! i did it! And it still hasn't sunck in yet! lol. it's so weird. to be done forever with High School. Now comes the working part, for the rest of my  life. lol.

i am going to tell you something. I am afraid. I am afraid of falling in love. yes that's right. Not because i dont want to, but because i'm afraid of being left alone again, i'm afraid of another broken heart in the end, i am afraid of an end. i have heard the words "i love you" before, i fell for it, and then the person walked out of my life, leaving me to think they lied to me. when i hear "i love you" to me that means, "i'm here for you, i wont leave, i'll be patient with you, i LOVE you" . but isnt that what love is supposed to be? a confirmation that that they care deeply for you and won't leave you? I believe love is everything that the Bible says it is in 1 Corinthians 13 that "Love is patient, love is kinds. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in eveil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." to me that is what true love is. i've been thinking alot about love recently. maybe it's because i have started to love someone for the first time, well you know in that special way. i am to scared to say anything, scared that the one person i care so much for, will one day walk out of my life and i will never see him again. i remember last year, i wouldnt kiss someone cause i knew it wasnt the right time. I'm glad now that i didnt fall into that trap of persuassion. i know God had a purpose in all of that pain so long ago. It made me who i am, made me stronger in my relationship with Christ. Christ is the number one thing in my life. without God i wouldnt be who i am today, or know the person i have fallen for. those are my thoughts that i needed to get out.

Don't go away. And leave me here alone. I wish there was something I could say. To make you turn
around. And come back home. Why can't you stay, why can't you. I can't stay awake. Cause you know I'm
thinking. Always thinking of you. I can't fall asleep. Cause you know I'm dreaming. Always dreaming
of you. Give me one more day. So you don't ruin my year. There had to be something I could say. To
make you realize. I need you here. Why can't you stay. Why can't you. I can't stay awake. Cause you
know I'm thinking. Always thinking of you. I can't fall asleep. Cause you know I'm dreaming. Always
dreaming of you, of you. I can't stay awake. Cause you know I'm thinking. Always thinking. I can't
fall asleep. Cause you know I'm dreaming. Always dreaming of you. I can't stay awake. Cause you know
I'm thinking. Always thinking of you. I can't fall asleep. Cause you know I'm dreaming. Always
dreaming of you. I can't stay awake. Cause you know I'm thinking. Always thinking of you. I can't fall
asleep. Cause you know I'm dreaming. Always dreaming of you, of you.